Archive for June, 2009

Halifax advert

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , on June 30, 2009 by localbastard

Everyone knows that bank adverts are normally annoying and shit, but this one takes the biscuit. It involves job loving bank working running, no one should ever be running in adverts unless there professional runners /if there running away from something menacing like a wild night husky or a big erect flasher. 

The bank workers then “work as a team” to make a rather unstable looking human tower, and then they hand the bemused “customer” a fiver like that’s gonna help! Its all backed up by a folk soundtrack that is actually quite soothing, thank god for soothing folk.

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Wilson Phillips

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2009 by localbastard

The name Wilson Phillips might sound like a champion dominoes player from 60s new york but you’d be very wrong there a 90s girl band full of girl spunk, stone wash denim, shoulder pads and late 80s early 90s mushroom haircuts. This song reminds me of  extended version of a veet advert. The girls strut around acouple of mountainous areas avoiding bears and scary eagles while singing really loud about love, men, and shit, they also hang out on a nice beach and walk along a street like a girl gang from Peckham. Probably the most underrated girl band of all time. Enjoy

The Loneliest Minute Ever Captured On Film

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , on June 29, 2009 by localbastard

Man in suit = sausage roll and dispair

Nigerians

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , on June 29, 2009 by localbastard

I wish British girls were this easily pleased, seems like all you need to do if you wanna pull a Nigerian girl is to have a box cut, mumble something vague about cookies and drive some sort of purple 90s Suzuki 4×4

Daily Cunt

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2009 by localbastard

This is not Alan Partridge or David Brent but a slicker surrey based real verison, making real money probably living in a real house with real stuff like a TV, a pet and a averagely expensive wok. Can i be a naked leader too? does it involve me taking my pants off at the door? Or do i have to just talk shite and walk around a darken room with my tits out ranting at bemused I.T staff that have relationship problems

Dave Benson phillips also dead!

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , on June 25, 2009 by localbastard

Friend to children everywhere, some say Dave Benson Phillips was the world second greatest entertainer, MJ being top dog/cat. Dave Benson Phillips later developed strange problems, recently rumours were rife that Phillips was working to hard, spending too much time in the gym working his muscles aka guns. He also had problems with hoarding, collecting various meats and second hand cars. He also spent alot of money on exotic pets. Dave is rumoured to have 4 house pigs, 1 dog, a monkey called bubbles 14 moorhens, a pair of old rare rats ,1 goose and 45 starfish. He also leaves 12 astra 2 ford transits 1 ford focus and 2 nissan sunnys, God bless ya dave

RIP DBP

dave

Chris Tarrant Dead!?

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , on June 25, 2009 by localbastard

Chris-Tarrant-001

Shit everyone!!! Chris Tarrant might be dead, unconfirmed reports coming from reuters perez hilton and the daily star, No i might be mistaken he might just be in a massive coma, Tarrant 62 has been training hard for a new world wide tour in his LA home. Hope CT gets well soon, latest news will be updated!

Chris_Tarrant